By Jai Institute for Parenting
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20 Apr, 2024
When children are in the middle of experiencing a big feeling, they are not able to access their prefrontal cortex and higher executive functioning. This means that moments of big feelings are NOT the moments to solve any problems or teach any lessons. In these moments, our children are asking us to show up with our full presence and unconditional love and support. When our children are met with our calm understanding, empathy, and acceptance, then they can fully melt into their feelings. Letting our children fully feel their feelings without judgment, fixing, or punishment is a gift to their nervous systems and to their development. As Dr. Daniel Siegel says, “Feel it to heal it.” We can teach the lessons later. We can talk about the behaviors later. This moment is the moment to lean in, love them at their “worst,” show them it’s okay to make mistakes and offer our deepest level of security and presence. By cultivating safety, trust, and support in our relationships with them, we unlock our children’s highest potential to learn and grow in the many moments to come.