Raising your kids… and your younger self

You’re not just raising your kids.

You’re also raising the younger version of yourself who didn’t get what they needed.

Think about it…

Every stubborn “no,” every meltdown, every slammed door can feel like an echo from your own childhood. 

Sometimes those echoes sound like the words you wish someone had said to you.

Other times, they mirror the moments you promised yourself you’d never repeat.

That’s why parenting can feel so big sometimes. The challenging moments we face with our kids aren’t just about this moment. They’re tangled up with the past, with the experiences we carried forward from being kids ourselves.

And here’s the beautiful part: That overlap is also a doorway.

When we connect what we felt as a child to what our child is feeling now, we unlock more compassion, more empathy, and more room to respond the way we wish our parents had. 

Our own childhood becomes a map that can guide us to lead the moment differently than it was led for us. Over time, every hard moment becomes a chance to guide our kids and tend to the younger self inside us who needed something different.

Let Your Younger Self Be Your Child’s Ally

The next time your child is struggling, or you feel yourself tightening inside, pause and imagine yourself at that same age. Bring that younger version of you into the room.

Ask yourself:

• What would they be feeling?
  
  
• What would they want you to say or do?
  
  
• What advice would they give you now, as the parent?
  
  
• What might they whisper to your child?
  
  

When you understand what you would have longed for back then, you can offer some of that to your kids now.

Why It Works:

Our childhood experiences quietly shape how we parent, often without us even realizing it. We inherit patterns from generations before us, and those patterns can take over in the heat of the moment.

By intentionally inviting our younger self into the picture, we interrupt those automatic reactions and create space for more intentional, compassionate choices.

Through the Coach Lens:

At Jai, we know parenting is never just about what’s happening right now. It’s about the stories and patterns we carry forward from the past. Those early experiences influence everything from how we set boundaries to how we comfort, to how we respond when our kids are upset.

Some of those patterns serve us. Others can make the moment harder.

Our coaches are trained to help parents spot when an old story is in the driver’s seat, and how to pause, choose a different response, and align with their vision and values. That shift doesn’t just change the moment. It can help heal what we’ve been carrying and lay down a new, healthier pattern for our kids.

Every moment with our children is a chance to guide them forward and care for the child still inside of us.

When we meet both with compassion, we grow right alongside the people we love most.