The pressure in parenting is real. We strive to do our best for our children. And yet the ongoing judgment from within and often from the world around us leaves us feeling like we could always be doing better than we are. 

We tell ourselves we need to have the answers, handle every situation calmly, and never let our children down. This creates a whole new level of tension in an already incredibly demanding job. But the truth is, parenting isn’t about perfection. It's about authenticity, vulnerability, and the courage to grow right alongside your kids. 

And when you remove the need for perfection from the equation, there’s a lot more room for connection, mutual understanding, and having fun, even in what might otherwise be a stressful situation.

I have three wonderful stepchildren, and their combined art and sports schedules are enough to make me want to hide under a pillow some days. I also like to get them to where they need to be on time, and the pressure of that can come out in what could be described as less-than-fun ways. I get tightly wound and really embody the feeling of being “in a hurry,” which is not a great setting for my otherwise usually warm personality. Insert the occasional forgetting of a piece of equipment, and I can become short-tempered and unpleasant, especially on a bad day. 

On top of that tension, add the internal judgment I feel for being anything less than perfectly organized, pleasant, and relaxed at all times, and suddenly the pressure is on. Take all of that and make it your general approach as a parent, and no wonder it feels so hard. And while this is a fairly tame example, it’s about the ‘setting’ we get into when the expectation is perfection.

I realized early on that the tension I was bringing to getting the kids to their activities punctually had no actual positive impact on our arrival time. So, I decided to try something else: What if, instead of prioritizing being on time over my relationship with the kids, I included them in the plan? What if we strategized together on how we could try and make that happen? They want to be on time, too, and that way we’re all in it together. 

Not only do we now have a shared goal of being on time, but everyone gets to play a part in achieving that, and we get to be more playful about it. And together we can plan exactly how to make our desired outcome happen, teaching them valuable life skills. Most importantly, when it doesn’t go as planned and I get snarky, I know I can apologize and try again. 

It all goes much smoother this way, and I get to stop feeling like we’re in a car chase all the way to the baseball diamond.

The Power of Repair in Parenting

One of the greatest lessons we can offer our kids is how relationships can heal and become even stronger after misunderstandings or conflicts. When trust feels shaken, the act of repair through sincere apologies, listening without defensiveness, and intentional reconnecting can deepen bonds more than any "perfect" parenting ever could.

I’m sure there isn’t a parent alive who wouldn’t love a do-over on a list of moments they’ve had with their kids. But these moments of imperfection are an opportunity, not a failure. Instead of burying our mistakes in shame, brushing them off, or just pretending they didn’t happen, we need to normalize being human and making mistakes. 

And after we acknowledge what happened, we get to do the most important part: To demonstrate how to repair and reconnect after conflict.

When we model this kind of emotional honesty, our children learn powerful lessons about accountability, forgiveness, and compassion. They come to understand that their worth isn’t diminished by mistake. Instead, we can show them that their humanity and resilience grow stronger through them.

Shifting from Perfection to Empowered Parenting

There's a remarkable transformation happening for many parents today. We’re stepping away from rigid expectations and moving toward parenting that is nurturing, mindful, and prioritizes our relationship with our children. This shift isn't about erasing the challenging moments, it’s about embracing them as chances for learning and growth.

Instead of aiming for perfection, what if we aim for presence? We can parent with openness and curiosity, fully embracing the inevitable ups and downs. When we practice this approach, we give ourselves more grace in our role as parents, and we offer our children something invaluable, the assurance that their worth isn't conditional on their behavior or performance.

Deeper connections have room to grow when we release the unrealistic burden of perfection. Relationships heal, communication improves, and your home becomes a place of genuine understanding and warmth.

Imperfection is universal, and recognizing this can free you from the self-critical voice that tells you you're failing. Instead, you get to celebrate all the times we show up fully, lovingly, and authentically for our children because we’ve dropped the illusion and pressure of perfection, ours and theirs.

Embracing the Empowered Parenting Model

At the Jai Institute for Parenting, we witness the transformative effects of embracing an empowered parenting model on families. For generations, we’ve been told that good parenting requires strict rules and power over strategies. Children were expected to follow orders without question, and many of us were raised in environments where our needs and feelings took a backseat to the authority of adults.

On the other hand, there’s also the fear that if we let go of these power dynamics, we’ll raise permissive, spoiled children who don’t respect boundaries.

But the empowered parenting model strikes a balance. It’s about teaching our kids that their emotions and needs matter while also guiding them toward making responsible, thoughtful choices. This approach fosters environments where both parents and children can thrive.

What’s the payoff for all this work? We get to love parenting again. We see our children grow into confident, articulate, and compassionate young adults. They don’t need to be forced into good decisions; they make them because they’ve been raised with a strong sense of self-worth, morality, and empathy.

It’s important to acknowledge that shifting to this model takes time and effort. But it’s worth every moment because we’re not just parenting for today, we’re raising the leaders and change-makers of tomorrow. And if we start now, we can give our children the tools to become incredible, purposeful adults who positively impact the world.

If this approach to parenting lights you up, remember, it’s never too late to start. Whether you’re raising toddlers or teens, or even if your children are grown, the principles of peaceful, empowered parenting can help you build the kind of relationships that make all the difference, for your family and for the world.

Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about the beautiful, imperfect journey we share with our children, and the powerful connections we build along the way.

If you are ready to step into your power as a parent and guide others on their journey, join our 7- months parent coaching program and become a certified parent coach.

Meet Your Author, Katie Owen

Jai Business Coach & Marketing Mentor

As a former practicing therapist turned copywriter and marketing strategist, Katie is passionate about the intersection of marketing and mindset. Katie embodies the practices of taking the simple actions, consistently over time, that create epic results.

A master storyteller, Katie works with our coaches to refine their message, increase their visibility and get clients!