You're Doing Better Than You Think You Are

Jai Institute for Parenting • February 22, 2025
You're Doing Better Than You Think You Are

Ever find yourself caught in a spiral of guilt as a parent? That little voice whispering (or shouting):


"Get it right. They deserve better. You’re failing them."


Oof. That one hurts.


We know our kids act better when they feel better. Well, it’s true for us too.

How do we expect ourselves to act in ways aligned with our vision when we are internally beating ourselves up for all the ways we could be doing better?


The truth is that empowered parenting raises our awareness—but it can also raise the pressure we put on ourselves. It’s easy for perfectionism to creep in and convince us we’re not doing enough. But here’s the thing:


Your kids don’t need you to be perfect. They need you—present, growing, and showing up with love.


So, let’s practice turning that same compassion inward. Because when we feel better, we parent better.

A Simple Daily Practice: "How Am I Doing?"


Try this quick check-in each day to reconnect with yourself: Get cozy. Grab a warm drink, take a breath, and settle in.

Notice your body.
 Where is there tension? Your shoulders? Jaw? Back? Let yourself feel what’s present.

Name your feelings.
 Are you overwhelmed? Joyful? Frustrated? Tired? Likely, you have many emotions swirling around at once. How much can you allow yourself to be feeling these without making them a problem to fix and solve?


Identify your needs.
 What are you longing for right now? A hug? A moment of stillness? A deep breath? Let the answer arise organically. If it’s hard to know what you need, that’s okay too. This is a common starting point for many of us who have lived so much of our lives looking out for others and forgetting to look out for ourselves in the process.

Take action.
 Even a small step—stretching, calling a friend, or simply whispering "I see you" to yourself—can send a powerful message: You matter, too.


The more we practice checking in with ourselves, the more we model for our children what it means to be emotionally present, self-aware, and kind to ourselves. This is where the real transformation begins.


You are doing beautiful, meaningful work. And you are not alone.


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