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The Generosity of Charging What You're Worth
Katie Owen • Nov 17, 2022
The Generosity of Charging What You're Worth

One of the most frequently asked questions from parent coaches who are starting out is: 


What should I charge for parent coach services? 


This might seem obvious, but there is a lot more riding on this question (and its answer) than you might realize. 


What you charge for your services is not simply about your desired income or the market you serve. Those are both important considerations, but there are critical elements to this question that often go underestimated or completely unconsidered. 


Many coaches start out, consciously or otherwise, by calculating what they believe an hour of their time is worth. This may seem logical but it’s not really a great place to start, for a couple of key reasons:


  • This way of calculating your rates has endless variability. It’s ultimately influenced most powerfully by how you were raised, what your sense of self worth is, what kinds of work you’ve done in the past and how much you were paid for it. 


  • You are charging for the work you do, not your own sense of self worth. The transformation that is available to families through this incredible work is what you are offering, skillfully and compassionately guided by you.


Another way I see coaches trying to answer this foundational question is basing it on external input. More specifically it comes down to questions like, “what will people be willing to pay for this service?” Well, that really depends on who you ask. This is another wildly variable answer, one that still won’t help you land on truly solid ground.


Ultimately, the first (and most important) person you need to convince that your services are worth what you are charging, is YOU. 


The same price one person scoffs at another person would gladly pay you without a second thought. Contrary to popular belief, seeing the value of investing in your family in this way is not tied to how much money people have. (Naturally I am not referring to anyone who is struggling to meet their basic needs.) It often comes down to financial priorities and how confident people are in being able to achieve the changes they long for. 


While it might seem counterintuitive to call charging more an act of generosity, here are my top reasons why nonetheless it proves to be true:


Reason #1 – If you are not properly compensated, the work ends with you.


One of our coaches, we’ll call her Angela, told a story recently about how she used to give discounts to parents who said they couldn't afford her services. This was prior to her certification. This was the way she ran her business before joining Jai. This approach was generous to others but really impacted her own income. Afterall, this kind of generosity when you’re running your own business comes directly out of your own pocket.


Angela talked about how important it was to her to ensure that price wasn’t a barrier to families benefiting from her support. Her business suffered deeply as a result, regardless of how good her intentions were. She could not properly support herself or her own family because of the discounts she was giving others. 


The real kicker was, those same families she was giving discounts to were coming to her and telling her about the vacations they were going on and the opportunities their children had to do activities that cost significant amounts of money, both things she herself could not afford to do. In the end she ended up feeling burnt out and resentful.


She told this story as a reminder to herself and a warning to others. She was determined to change her mindset so that her business would succeed this time.


If you can not afford to support yourself financially, you will be of service to no one. 


The most generous thing you can do is ensure that your needs are met so that you can have a full healthy practice that brings you joy and fulfillment and allows you to keep doing the work!


Reason #2 – Your price strongly influences your clients perception of whether you are good at what you do or not


The higher the price of something the more we believe it has value. Regardless of whether there is any truth to that or not. We assume that if you aren’t charging very much for what you do, your skill level must match that lower price. 


So while most people focus on the fear of overcharging, undercharging can surprisingly be just as problematic. Consider your own reaction to prices as you move through the world and the inherent value you place on things that cost more. 


According to Victor Ricciardi, professor of finance at Goucher College in Baltimore, Maryland,  and co-editor of the books
Investor Behavior and Financial Behavior, we view higher prices as an indication that we’re taking less risk. A higher price lands in us as an investment that is more likely to have a satisfying result.


So while I don’t recommend overcharging, I do recommend ensuring that you are being realistic about the value of the incredible transformation you are offering families through your work. Reflect on your own experiences of new insight, deeper connection and a more hopeful, peaceful future in your own family and those you have worked with.


Many clients who have worked with our coaches say that if they had known the impact this work was going to have on their family, they would have paid anything. So keep that in mind as you not only set your prices but also as you write your marketing to let people know about the power of this work so they understand the true and undeniable value of what you’re offering. (And remember to get testimonials!)


Reason #3 – What you charge affects the success of the entire industry of parent coaches


Coaching is one of the fastest growing fields of work in the world. The possibilities for parent coaches becoming a foundational part of the process of becoming a parent are endless. 


Parent coaching has a bright and powerful future. This work has the potential of being an integral part of parents intentionally creating the family environments and relationships they want to have with their children. But that will require building a reputation for the industry. Part of that rests on having well-trained certified parent coaches out there doing amazing work, something we are very proud to be at the forefront of here at Jai! 


Another element that will contribute to the industry’s success is taking this work and yourself seriously. That means not undervaluing the work by charging less than it’s worth! Take a page from Michael Bungay Stanier, author of
The Coaching Habit, if you’re not sure where to begin. He suggests you price your services at “fear plus 10%,” or 10% more than what you feel comfortable asking for.


The industry also relies on parent coaches making a good living in order to continue expanding its reach, something that is directly related to your rates. I touched on it earlier on an individual level, but it’s also critical for the expansion of the industry which directly supports you and your business! 


As an example from a totally different industry, take photography. This art/service is wildly priced from one extreme to the other. When one photographer charges a super low amount it makes it much more challenging for people to pay what is ultimately a more reasonable level of compensation. The skill to artfully document the beautiful moments in life should allow you to make a good living. 


The same holds true for the gift of guiding families through powerful transformations. The stronger the parent coaching industry is, the easier it will be to get clients. With every year of experience you have, you’ll find yourself easily charging more and more. Increasing your rates regularly is also a great way to get to where you want to go and allows you to get used to the price you are asking for over time.


Charging more is not a spectator sport


You must take action to change the way you feel about charging more. It is truly the only way to get comfortable. I see it all the time when I talk to graduates I worked with just prior to graduation who have now been working for a while.


One coach I worked with early on, we’ll call her Grace, was afraid to charge anything for her work. She was used to working for free and sharing her talents with the world without financial compensation. She was an incredibly compassionate and skilled coach, even starting out, but she really struggled when it came to money. 


I worked with her during our sessions and sent her on her way hoping she would not only see the value she brought to the work, but the value of the work itself and the unsustainability of undercharging. 


I was delighted to discover when I caught up with her recently that she is now charging up to $300 per session and continuing to grow her thriving practice. She continued to work on her mindset around money and incrementally increasing her rates. That’s how it works. There’s no other way. 


So if you’re not charging what this work is worth, it’s time to take steps to remedy that. You can start today and move forward from here regardless of what you’ve been doing so far. As my mother wisely taught me, there’s no point looking back, you’re not going that way.

Kiva Schuler

Meet Your Author, Katie Owen

Jai Business Coach & Marketing Mentor

As a former practicing therapist turned copywriter and marketing strategist, Katie is passionate about the intersection of marketing and mindset. Katie embodies the practices of taking the simple actions, consistently over time, that create epic results.


A master storyteller, Katie works with our coaches to refine their message, increase their visibility and get clients! 


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