Regaining Calm in Your Parenting

It can be easy to think of our role as parents as either/or. Either we are being kind, or we are being tough. Either we are being gentle, or we are being rough. 

The magic of the Jai Methodology is that we can be both kind and direct. We can uphold boundaries… 

“Using our words.” (Ok, I THINK THIS IS FUNNY… hope you see it this way too!) 

Rather than telling children what they are doing wrong, our work as Empowered Parents is to teach them what is right. 

But effective teaching can’t happen when we’re losing our minds. We get to find tools to stay calm. 

As parent coaches, our work is to give parents the tools to lead their children from a grounded, mature, and thoughtful place. 

To respond instead of react. It’s where the magic of parenting happens. 

So this week, we’ve got one of our favorite grown-up calm-down tools. 

Let the Wall Hold You

When you are in a moment of absolute frustration and fatigue and feel like you can no longer be loving towards your kids, go find a wall. 

If your kids need to know where you are going and what you are doing, you can calmly tell them: “I am going to take a few moments to breathe and be with myself so I can feel calm and present. I will be with you again very soon.”

When you find the wall, lean your back against the wall. Make sturdy contact between your body and the wall. Relax your shoulders. Rest. Let the wall hold you. Breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth. You can ‘sigh’ on the exhale if that feels good to you.

Notice how your body is making contact with the wall. Can you turn your full awareness towards the sensation of being held by this wall?

Keep breathing. 

As you are settling into being held, give yourself some love. You are doing a great job. You are an incredible parent. You deserve love and rest. 

And then ask yourself kindly and gently: “What do I need to return to love?” 

Breathe as you wait for the answer to rise. 

If it doesn’t come, that’s okay. You are practicing and learning more every day. Keep breathing and being held for as long as it takes to regain your loving leadership. 

Thank yourself (and the wall) for showing up for you. Then repair and reconnect with your kids, back towards love.