Growing Ourselves Up to Grow Our Kids Up

Empowered Parenting includes rules, limits, and boundaries. It honors family values and priorities. Empowered parents get to say no.

Boiling the shift down to its simplest terms, with Empowered Parenting, we are replacing yelling, punishments, threats, and consequences with communication. Communication doesn’t hurt kids. Authentic feelings expressed healthily do not hurt kids.

We aren’t abdicating responsibility as a parent by embracing this new paradigm.

Quite the opposite. We claim full responsibility for our actions, words, and deeds. 

We grow ourselves up so that we can grow our kids up. 

We immerse ourselves in their world, their needs, and their evolution. We become their partner in growth and maturing. 

The ironic truth is that the very parenting practices that well-meaning strangers tell us we need to use to get our kids under control often cause the misbehavior, rebellion, lack of respect, and entitlement that kids are accused of every day. 

(And really, has there been a generation of kids that haven’t been labeled this way by the generation that preceded them?)

The truth? They don't love us less when we scold, criticize, punish, or demean our kids. 

They love themselves less.

And grown-ups who don’t love themselves are doing an awful lot of harm to our world. 

There’s enough false empowerment going around to drown us all. 

True empowerment lives on regardless of external circumstances.

Bedtime is such a sensitive time of transition for kids as they move from awake and alert to relaxed and the trust sleep requires to let go and surrender. It is a really beautiful time to cultivate safety to help them drift off peacefully. And so it's a great time to remind our kids how much we love and adore them—unconditionally and always. Here are some ideas to inspire you…

“Can I tell you all the things I love about you?”

“There is nothing that you could do or say that would change how much I love you.”

“I love all of you. Every part of you. The silly parts. The crazy parts. The helpful parts. The kind parts. The parts that feel angry sometimes. I love all of your parts. Forever.”

“You belong here in this family. You matter so much to me.”

“Can I share how much I love you? I love you to the moon, around the sun three times, to Mars, back to the sun, back to the moon….(so on)”

Never assume your kids know how much you love them. Reminding them at bedtime is a great way to bring safety and support their peaceful transition to sleep.