Can Parenting Be Heavy AND Joyful?

The work of raising kids is incredible and beautiful… and it also comes with a lot of heaviness.

The fears of failure, the desire to get it all “right,” the logistics of trying to ensure everyone's needs are met, the overstimulation of hearing whining, bickering, and sounds made from kid bodies, and the painful fact that we don’t get “feedback” on how we are “doing” with our kids until they are grown and we see how they turned out.

It’s no wonder we can’t always just “be grateful” and enjoy parenting.

Yet, when they are grown, and the load is lighter, we will look back on their earlier years and wish we could just visit the moments and enjoy their cute little child selves.

So how can we, as parents, hold the heaviness of the parenting load while remembering the abundance within the journey?

We don’t pretend to have the perfect answer to that question that would fit every person, so we turn it over to you for some introspection.

What would it be like for you to hold both of these realities (the heaviness and the abundance of joy) at the same time?

Finding Answers Within Ourselves

And now, we will offer some ideas. The answer to this big question may lie in our ability to show up for ourselves.

Getting to know our capacity. Being sturdy and proactive in our boundaries before we get resentful and beyond our capacity. Noticing micro-moments of celebration for times that go really well.

Looking for glimmers within our family and ourselves. Learning to work with our nervous systems. Forgiving ourselves when things don’t go the way we had hoped. Learning how to flow through hard moments so we can return to the beautiful.

What is one thing you can do or try that might help you practice holding the beauty AND challenge of parenting? Go write it down and post it up on your mirror.

And while you’re at that mirror, look at yourself and say these words out loud:

“I am doing better than I think I am doing.”

And then maybe wink at yourself. It might make you laugh (which is medicine for joy).

And never forget, you are not alone.