When you find yourself struggling as a parent, who do you turn to? Imagine if you had access to a professional parenting coach who is completely dedicated to being the source of support for parents. A soft place to land where you no longer need to hide your pain and challenges. A torch to illuminate what could seem hopeless, spun out of control, or unmendable.

The Jai Institute for Parenting Parent Coach Certification Program develops peaceful parenting coaches who serve as a bridge between chaos and flow. We invite parents in and offer space for depth, honesty, creativity and transformation.

To traverse challenges and struggles with dignity and trust, parenting coaches are trained through their parenting coach certification to understand key concepts like strengths-based parenting strategies, personal resourcing, and taking small steps with clients as they grow towards their parenting goals.

What is strengths-based parent coaching?

Strengths-based parent coaching is a methodology that secures a coaching session with a core belief that our client's parenting journey is not one hundred percent about challenges; that there are always “glimmers” or little nuggets of ease, flow, and harmony. Typically, a parent's brain subconsciously and consciously scans their experience to pick up and collect the evidence that proves their worst fears: all is lost, there is no peace, parenting is only deep struggle and hardship.

We get to support our clients to expand their “evidence collector” by pendulating between what is going well, and what is challenging, all while providing them with actionable, calm parenting techniques. 

According to Dr. Paul Brewerton, “the strengths-based approach comes from positive psychology and focuses people on their positive qualities and attributes, typically those aspects of their personalities which bring them to life, which energize and motivate them.”

At the Jai Institute for Parenting, we train our coaches in a strengths-based coaching methodology. This means that our coaches are not only equipped to facilitate their clients through turmoil, parent-child power struggles, and daily misalignment and misunderstanding; they are also equipped to continuously shine a light on what is *already working.*

Inspired by the work of Dr. Peter Levine (creator of Somatic Experiencing, a body-based methodology for discharging and transforming stored stress or trauma from the body and nervous system), Jai encourages our coaches to anchor their clients into their core strengths as a parent from the very first session. 

Not only are we supporting parents to connect with their own personal strengths throughout the coaching process, we also invite clients to keep a strengths-based lens for the children. For parents who are struggling with a child's developmental phase, complex shifts within the family system, or patterns of disconnection and misunderstanding, it can be easy to fall into the trap of, as coined by Dr. Lawrence Cohen in his book Playful Parenting, “the tower of isolation.” 

When we are hyper focusing only on what is hard and difficult, or the behaviors  children are displaying that the parent perceives as the “source” of problem in the family, the parent can isolate and separate from the child. This separation creates a “me versus them” feeling within both the parent and child, causing more separation and resistance!

Small steps with clients

To honor our client’s ability to stay connected to their strengths, to their anchor, and to a belief that: “all will be okay,” we practice using small steps.

As parenting coaches, we only go as fast as the slowest part of our client feels safe. We do not rush.

Our clients' urgency to fix their situation and solve the challenges is not an emergency. We understand that forcing awareness through stressful parenting experiences could in fact create more stress than support. 

Resourcing with clients

Shared by Dr. Sarah Ross, clinical psychologist, echoing that foundation created by Dr. Peter Levine, we support our client to anchor into the moment and understand what helps them feel “okay.” We devote an entire session within our twelve-week Transformational Parenting Process to guiding our clients to list in detail what connects them to their sense of well being. 

How does our client anchor into the present moment? How can we help guide them into clarity of what works for them and what does not? We help them identify the resources and skills at their disposal. 

Inner resourcing: our ability to connect to ourselves through breath and our environment with mindfulness. 

Outer resourcing: our ability to connect to ourselves through external means. 

Throughout the process, we reinforce the many inner resourcing skills available to each and every person. Outer resourcing includes connecting with a friend or loved one, connecting with nature or a spiritual practice. 

Resourcing with clients

As parent coaches, we are working with clients who are experiencing sometimes intense, sometimes mild, dynamics that cause stress for them. There may be circumstances with their child or family system that are deeply challenging and overwhelming.

We invite our clients to remember what they love and admire about their child. We seek beneath challenging, stress-based behaviors, and into core expressions of truly respecting the person that their developing, evolving child is.

 Resources

1. What is a strengths-based approach in coaching? Dr. Paul Brewerton. https://www.strengthscope.com/blog/what-is-a-strengths-based-approach-in-coaching
2. Resourcing, Pendulation and Titration: Practices from Somatic Experiencing®. Dr. Sarah Ross.https://sarahrossphd.com/resourcing-pendulation-titration-practices-somatic-experiencing/
3. Playful Parenting. Dr. Lawrence Cohen.