#1 Vibes are real… For better or for worse

If you’ve been in parent coach business training with me, you have no doubt heard me use the term ‘vibes’ or ‘energetics,’ especially in relation to sales. And while some people may laugh at this concept, or even enjoy a light internal eye roll, it turns out it’s actually true.

What people give off in the world has a very real impact on the people around them. Two organizational behavior scientists, one at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill named Noah Eisenkraft and Hillary Anger Elfenbein at Washington University in St. Louis researched this and discovered a conclusion that may surprise you: Everyone has a ‘vibe’ that other people pick up on AND it universally affects the people they interact with in the same way. Especially when it comes to certain feeling states like stress, frustration and discouragement.

So when it comes to running a business, if you’re around people who have negative vibes, it’s very hard not to be influenced. Over time, talking to people who are negative or discouraging will weigh you down. Talk about a business buzz kill. 

Don’t stop believin’

Your beliefs influence your actions, longevity and ultimately success as a parent coach. If you have people in your life who plant seeds of discouragement, don’t let them anywhere near your mindset around your business. 

If they’re important people in your life who aren’t going anywhere, maybe stick to discussing “uplifting” topics with them like climate change. You can save discussions about the unlimited possibilities for your business for the people in your life who are only two pom poms short of being your real life cheerleaders.

Sowing seeds of success

It doesn’t take much to plant seeds that, over time, undermine the enthusiasm of even the most dedicated among us. So keep the garden weeded regularly. You don’t need to go to the mat or convince anyone that what you are building in your business is possible. Focus your energy instead on changing the world, one family at a time.

Many of our graduates understandably feel reluctant to leave the supportive environment created in their cohort. Being surrounded by people who believe in you and the vision you have for your business is very inspiring, deeply motivating and delightfully uplifting. So keep in regular contact with those sparkly individuals who truly believe in you. 

Building on that circle of support is exactly why we created the Jai Coaching Confidence Collective. The Jai Collective is a place to share your celebrations, get invaluable support, ask critical questions and be immersed in a sea of endless possibilities for your business. Members access ongoing expert guidance and input while sharing ideas with each other. They increase their skills as coaches, learn from each other's experiences and successes, all in an intimate community that keeps them excited about what they get to create.

#2 Network for your net worth

Networking to some is a dirty word! But if you embrace it (and do it on your own terms), it will become your ultimate business building superpower. Don’t worry if you’re currently not well connected. You still have time! There’s no one correct way to expand your network, but it’s important to find what works for you, because it’s not really optional.

Whether you’re someone who finds it so easy to connect to other humans that you currently know the name of the person who bags your groceries and when his next history exam is, or you barely know the names of your next door neighbors, there’s still hope.

Reach out and touch someone

First… I would like to define in broad terms what networking is and is not! 

It is: Connecting for the sake of connecting… making new acquaintances, friends or like-minded colleagues.

It is not: A chance to sell your parent coaching services. 

It is: Talking to new people and learning about parenting issues.

It is not: A chance to solve parenting challenges on the spot.

It is: An incredible opportunity for more people to learn about parent coaching and what it’s all about 

It is not: A chance to sell your parent coaching services. I repeat: Newtorking is not a direct sales opportunity!!! 

The wider your network, the more opportunities you will have. It’s not more complex than that. Plenty of people ruin their long term success by jumping the gun and focusing on ‘getting’ something out of people. Instead focus on being in service to others and relationship building and you will watch your network grow and work for you. Get to know people, be genuinely interested in them and what they do and enjoy yourself! The overall impact on your business will happen organically over time.

Now that we have that out of the way… 

It’s not good business to simply be in touch with people when you need something from them. Be open and available to any ways in which you can be of service to them as well, or simply take an interest in their life and enjoy getting reacquainted! Naturally, through conversations of all kinds, you will likely discuss what you’re doing, but that’s not the initial point. If it feels like that to people, including you, it will really kill the vibe (I feel so much freer using that word now that it’s practically a scientific term).

It’s a great idea to keep a networking calendar and reach back out to contacts regularly, just to say hi and see how their lives are going and how their businesses are doing. You’ll be surprised how often you end up discovering new ways to help each other. 

Go big, don’t go home

Expanding your overall network is just a good plan in the life of any business owner. It’s something that should be done regularly. Like brushing your teeth. What you don’t want to do is start scrambling to ‘make connections’ out of some immediate need. That’s like flossing your teeth 3 times the day before you’re going to the dentist. It really only has a positive impact on your business (and your oral health) if you do it consistently with the long game in mind.

According to research in the area of network science, people who have the largest networks are the most successful overall. There’s one important distinguishing factor though. You have to have what’s called an open network. An open network means that you are connected to several different groups or pockets of people.   Branching out into different areas of your life to connect is a great way to create a more open network.

If you want to dive in and connect with all kinds of people from diverse backgrounds but you don’t know where to start, try a formal networking organization like BNI. BNI stands for Business Network International and they are a worldwide networking organization set up specifically for networking. They have over ten thousand chapters and just under three hundred thousand members. This organization will literally teach you how to create and use networks. 

With BNI you will connect with all kinds of business owners. The opportunities that can arise from that are truly endless. Look up the chapter in your area and attend a meeting as a visitor to see what it’s all about. It’s a fast and effective way to instantly expand your networks without finding yourself in an echo chamber of like minded people with similar connections to the ones you already have. 

In addition to BNI, there are many other local networking groups. Find out what is going on in your local area and JUST KEEP SHOWING UP! I know it can be hard at first. If you walk in with curiosity and a desire to get to know other people and what they’re up to, you’ll take the focus and pressure off of you and reduce any nervousness you may feel.

Start where you are

If your mind is spinning with these possibilities and you feel tired just reading about connecting with that many people I have good news for you. You only have to do one thing. Just one move. Start here:

In my group business coaching sessions, I always ask students to make a list of all the people they know, starting with anyone they think might have any interest in parent coaching (not for themselves necessarily, they could own a Montessori or be a pediatrician, for example). Think of people you know who have a deep network, they often do because they’re more than happy to create connections! The people who may end up being your biggest supporters are often not who you would initially expect. 

When you make your own list (which I just know you’re going to do as soon as you’re done reading this ;), the key is to remind yourself that you are not obligated to contact anyone on the list. That way you let your mind off the hook so it will let you write down everyone you can possibly think of. If you feel like you have to get in touch with them, your mind may create quite a filter. This exercise is about seeing just how wide your current networks are.

Then decide on ONE person you can connect with and make a plan to do that. That’s it. That’s where it all begins. Go for lunch, have coffee, go check out their art show, it doesn’t matter. Just talk to them… Ask them what is going on with them, their families and their businesses? How can you help them?  You will be surprised how much you can help each other! 

Hey, and don’t forget, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN! Be curious, get to know people, stay open to really enjoying yourself and learning new things about other people and all the exciting things happening in the world around you. 

Then start imagining all the ways you, as a parent coach, might be able to serve in those new contexts. Is someone looking for a new dentist, copywriter or accountant? Offer to make an introduction to the incredible people you work with. These connections might seem unrelated to building your parent coach business, but when you help people solve their issues through your network, it keeps you in the forefront of their mind as someone helpful. Then when an opportunity arises that would be perfect for you or your business, they will be much more likely to think of you and reciprocate. You will be surprised and delighted by all the good things that come from being open, showing up and supporting people in your network.

Now go make that list! <3

Meet Your Author, Katie Owen

Jai Business Coach & Marketing Mentor

As a former practicing therapist turned copywriter and marketing strategist, Katie is passionate about the intersection of marketing and mindset. Katie embodies the practices of taking the simple actions, consistently over time, that create epic results.

A master storyteller, Katie works with our coaches to refine their message, increase their visibility and get clients!